To Blog or Not to Blog?

If you read this blog, you know that I started to write a book. It has nothing to do with education. It's an opportunity for me to reflect on my past and present, to honor the imperfection of my memories, and to make amends with myself and the people I love. At least this is the process I'm experiencing thus far. It's therapy, really, and when I emerge from a fruitful writing session I feel refreshed and grounded. I see my world differently.

I've come to realize that writing about work is not the great escape I hope to achieve from taking on a writing project. My life is terribly unbalanced, with the scale constantly tipped toward my career. In the meantime, my personal relationships, hobbies, and goals get left by the wayside. Then I start to resent my work, even though I really do love so many aspects of my job. So I need to change course.

I haven't written my blog or my book all winter term. This is definitely a direct result of being slammed with an overloaded work schedule. But there's more. Early this winter, a trusted confidant reminded me that most writers don't succeed. And because I was already on shaky ground as a writer, this comment stabbed like a sharp needle bursting the little bubble of hope that kept me writing. Blast.

Although this was never her intent (and I hope she never reads this), I completely stopped writing after she made this comment. But it gave me time to think, and I know that I don't want to write about work right now. It just doesn't help me achieve my goal of finding better balance in my life.

As the buds form on the trees and the spring flowers blossom, I vow to rekindle my love for the writing process- whether or not anyone ever reads my work. The goal of writing my book is deliciously personal and really doesn't have anything to do with being published anyway. So I'm considering writing a blog about writing my book. Or maybe I'll just focus my energy on the book for now.

That being said, good-bye for now. Perhaps I'll return another day!

In Students We Trust Part 2

I, like many others, am in a process of learning to trust others and myself.

Will this relationship last?

Will my partner ever grow out of a bad habit?

Did I make the right decision to quit my job?

Am I an effective teacher?

There are no immediate answers to these questions, so one might wonder if there is value in asking them. I know that when I start asking questions like these, it means I’m experiencing fear that needs tended to.  

My fear typically stems from having an expectation of perfection. We’re all simply human, and we all make mistakes. I can have faith in the fact that I’ll make mistakes; my partner will make mistakes; my students will make mistakes.

What I try to focus on is my perception of the mistakes. I ask myself, “What did I learn from this situation?” and “How have I grown from this experience?”  When I ask these questions instead of questioning the unknown, it’s an indicator of my growth as a person. The perception of “Life is a series of opportunities to grow and learn” is far more empowering than focusing on that which we cannot control.

This perspective is easily transferable to the classroom and teaching practices.

I see my students striving for perfection with the units they implement and the classroom management systems they set up. But when a lesson bombs and behaviors  gets out of control, the expectation of perfection comes tumbling down around them, leaving them in ruins of self-doubt and fear that they’ll never reach their goal of becoming a stellar educator.

I calmly urge pre-service teachers to consider what they learned from the situation and ask them to reflect on how the “flop” can be “flipped” into a positive message about their strengths and goals as a teacher. 

So the lesson here is that trust in ourselves and our students may come easier if we change our perception about failure/perfection. For instance, I don’t know if the new course I developed will be a success. However, do know that I will learn plenty from the experience so that I can make revisions for the next time. I’ll collect regular feedback from students to inform my decisions. And I’ll stand in front of my students each class session confidently armed with my core values of authenticity, transparency, caring, passion, and dedication.

Acknowledging my core values keeps me grounded in my identity, which is something I can definitely trust!